Holding your finger in the middle of the head to deaden some of the overtones helps. If you tune all your toms this way and they still sound bad then get new heads (I like Evans G2 clearly) and try again. Tune the batter head tight and the resonance head very loose.
If your drums sound dominant, punchy, and full of impact on their own, but then seem to die out with the rest of the band in the mix, it’s usually because there is too much low and mid-low information in the remaining instruments.
Cut Mids – Start cutting at around 300Hz and sweep along the mids until the toms sound thicker. Subjectively, by taking out the mid-range frequencies, you give more room for the lows and highs to come out and play. Cut the edgy frequencies until you hear your toms getting fatter.
It should be loud enough that the low frequencies are rich and powerful, but not so loud that it obscures the bottom end of the snare drum. Then start bringing in the toms. These can be almost as loud as the snare when used sparingly, but when they are pronounced they should sit a little further down in the mix.
Use dampening to prevent ringing
You can also try putting small amounts of tape on the eardrum to deaden the sound. Loose drum components can also contribute to ringing. For example, loose springs can vibrate in a way that produces an uncomfortable high-pitched ringing tone.
Compression is when you reduce the dynamic gap between the quietest and loudest signals in an audio signal. When working with live drums, you can use compression to make the kit feel like it’s all moving together and sound bigger as a whole.
To fully complete the seating process, take two drum wrenches and stretch the head in opposite pairs in half turns, to a degree of tautness far beyond what most players would use. Quickly check that the head is roughly flat all over, then leave for a few hours.
Use the wrench finger-tight in quarter turns. Working clockwise around most modern drums should be fine. As with the other drums, the heads of any tom-tom should be snug before you start tuning.
Toms are compressed so we can add more punch to this instrument. Make sure to compress with a slow attack and fast release to get the most out of your tom mics. This adds attack and evens out the volume of your toms.
Kick drums can be tuned to have a fundamental frequency of as low as 50 Hz and as high as 80 or 90 Hz depending on the drum size, the type of drum heads used, and the style of music is being played.
Overall, Drum Mutes reduce the volume of your drum kit by about 70%, which is enough to keep your neighbors happy if you’re indoors. If you’re drumming in an apartment, sound will still be transmitted (especially through the floor or thin walls), so keep that in mind.